An Unbearable Loss
by gorbash085
Summary: Ah, well you will just have to read it to find out. Isnt it annoying when people write that? Oh well easy summary and highly unoriginal, Jack lives. I did this a few years ago, be gentle and no flames, my self esteem is low enough as it is. Cheers!
1. Chapter 1

An Unbearable Loss - Chapter 1  
  
Disbelief  
  
Rose stared at the Statue of Liberty in bewilderment. It made no sense now. When she first boarded Titanic she knew that once she saw this monument it meant that she was truly caged and dying. But now what did it mean?  
  
"It means it's new life but without Jack. A life where I will never be able to see him, hear him or touch him ever again". When Rose thought about this there a was a heavy pain inside of her that she knew would never go away as of her memory of Jack.  
  
Rose didn't notice the steward approaching cautiously behind her, he could tell she was saddened. "No doubt she lost someone she loved" he thought to himself.  
  
"Can I take your name please love?" he asked not too abruptly to shock her. Rose turned her head to face a man with a clipboard and an umbrella. As quickly as she had turned her head round to face him she answered. "Dawson.Rose Dawson". And she turned her gaze back to the statue.  
  
"Thank you" the steward said as he was walking past her to collect further names of survivors. "Dawson? Dawson? Oh god I wish I really was a Dawson. Mrs Jack Dawson. Why did I let him go I didn't even check to make sure he was still breathing. Just because he didn't answer didn't mean he was dead. I killed him, I killed my only love" Rose whispered to herself, making sure no one heard her.  
  
Tears formed in Rose's eyes and soon they were pouring down her pale cheeks. Some women who were in lifeboats watched Rose as she fell to the ground in a heap of desperate cries. They all felt sympathetic towards her. They too all lost someone they cared about, husbands, brothers all types of family. They wish they could have helped, but what could they say? "There, there the pain will pass, it will get easier in time?"  
  
That was not true and they knew that so they let her be. Rose was tired, wet and cold, she decided to go inside now. She tried to stand but with all the crying she had done she lost her balance and nearly fell to the floor, but strong arms kept her up. It was the steward who had taken her name. He had finished his round and just stared at Rose. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, yet her face was so miserable so lonely, he was intrigued by her.  
  
"I think we better get you inside miss! Get you to the infirmary and warmed up before you catch your death" he said as he was leading her indoors. "Thank you" was all she could say before everything went hazy and then black. 


	2. Chapter 2

An Unbearable Loss - Chapter 2  
  
Jack's Awakening  
  
Jack awoke to find himself in a strange room where he was covered from head to toe with blankets. The room was a stale white with five cots all covered in white sheets. There was a cupboard at the other end of the room and it was open, inside were more sheets and blankets.  
  
"Where am I?" he said aloud in husky voice, his mouth was very dry. "I see you have finally woken up, I thought you were a gonner for a moment there!" said a plump lady with brown curly hair and sparkling green eyes. "My name is Mary O'Neil but you can just call me Mary, and your name is?" Mary was right beside his bed now and hovering over him.  
  
"Jack.Jack Dawson" Jack said as he was straightening himself into a more comfortable position. "So uh, where am I?" he said as he was removing some of the blankets from his body, he couldn't stand the heat for much longer.  
  
"You are on the Carpathia, we thought you might not pull through when the lifeboat picked you up from the water. They said you were mumbling a name as they were pulling you out, what was it again, Violet? Daisy?" she looked at him with kind and caring eyes and was tapping her head when she was trying to remember the name.  
  
"Rose?" Jack interrupted with a sad look on his face. "Yes, that's the one, I knew it was some sort of flower" Mary said with a little chuckle. "How long have I been here? And what time is it.please?" Jack said solemnly. He was remembering Rose now, he didn't know if she was alive or not. He didn't see her on the driftwood when he resurfaced after he slipped into the water.  
  
"I hope she's alright and that she's alive," Jack thought to himself. Then he remembered that Mary was still there and answering his question. "You've been here, in the infirmary that is for a couple of days now, and the time is, oh my! Nearly ten o clock at night, you have had a good nap haven't you" Mary said with another chuckle. Jack laughed along. "She has a good sense of humour," he thought.  
  
"Where are my priorities, I'm a nurse and I haven't even given you any food yet, I bet your starving right now aren't you?" said Mary with a startle to herself, she started heading towards the door. "Your right I am staving" said Jack with a smile on his face; he liked Mary she reminded him of his own mother, the same friendly, caring and mothering disposition.  
  
Suddenly there was a ruckus going on at the door. Jack didn't see anything as there was a curtain drawn by the side of his bed. He could only listen. "My oh my what have we here?" Mary said with a shocked voice. The steward carried Rose over to the bed next to Jack's. He still couldn't see anything or who was lying next to him.  
  
"She passed out outside ma'am, I was bringing her here to lie down and get dry. Look how pale she is" the steward said as he was motioning to Rose. Mary didn't really listen she was too busy getting Rose out of her wet coat and dress. "Poor girl, she looks frozen, will you be a lad and go over to the cupboard and get me one of those cotton night-dresses please?" Mary said pointing towards the other side of the room. Jack could see the steward getting the night-dress and walking back over to the bed. "Here you go," he said as he gave Mary the dress. "Thanks love, I uh think you better turn around, this girl maybe unconscious but I'm sure she still wants her privacy," she said as she was taking off Rose's underwear.  
  
"There's that humour again" Jack said aloud with a chuckle. Mary didn't reply she just laughed along. "I have to be getting back up on deck anyway, I'll drop by later to see how she's doing" the steward said as he was walking out the door. "I'll get you some food in a minute Jack. I'm sorry, this was slightly unexpected," she said as she was tucking Rose in with extra layers of blankets. "There we are, she'll be warmed up in no time, I'll get you something to eat now " Mary said as she was heading towards the door. "Thanks Mary!" Jack shouted, but then remembering the unconscious woman beside him he quietly whispered "Sorry". 


	3. Come Josephine

An Unbearable Loss - Chapter 3  
  
Come Josephine!  
  
Authors notes: I do not own anything Titanic related or its characters, so no suing. Thank you very, very much to the people that reviewed and liked my story, I admit its quite crap but thanks anyway. I have no gift for writing, but this was written years ago so I'll use that as an excuse, lol.  
  
****** Jack studied the list of survivors Mary had given him. He saw no Rose DeWitt Bukater anywhere.  
  
"She's really dead, I don't believe it. She promised me she would survive, go on with her life, why did she let go of that promise, why?" Jack said amongst his cries to Mary. She was sitting on the bed holding and gently rocking him.  
  
"Ssh, there, there don't cry, don't cry it will be alright, I'm sure she survived but they just haven't got her name down yet that's all" Mary said trying to reassure Jack.  
  
"No she's gone Mary, she's really gone, it should have been me who died not her, not her" he cried, he felt guilty, lost and alone. Not even Mary's comforting helped him.  
  
After a few minutes Jacks crying slowly subsided, he was beginning to calm down.  
  
"I'll leave now, I think you need to be alone, okay Jack?" Mary said slowly rising from the bed.  
  
"Thank you Mary, for everything" Jack answered, he was staring out the porthole now, alone with his grief.  
  
Mary left taking one glance back at Jack, "Poor boy, poor boy" she silently whispered to herself and she headed back up on deck.  
  
**************************************************************************** *************  
  
Rose slowly opened her eyes and looked at her surroundings. "He must have taken me to the infirmary" she thought to herself. "I'll have to thank him when I get my strength back."  
  
Rose laid her head back on the pillow and looked side to side, on her left was another cot; it was empty. On her right was a curtain, she couldn't make out the figure behind it, and she didn't really try. She started to think about Jack, and all the fun times they had together, the spitting lesson, running away from Lovejoy and flying. Rose thought more about flying and she remembered the off key song Jack sang into her ear on the bow.  
  
"Come Josephine in my flying machine, and its up she goes, up she goes. Come Josephine in my flying machine." Rose sang aloud, it was barely a whisper but could easily be heard. A single tear rolled down from her eye and landed on the pillow. She continued singing.  
  
"Balance yourself like a bird on a beam, in the air she goes, there she goes," her voice was starting to become more shaky with each word she sang.  
  
Meanwhile. Jack, stared out the window. He could see the rain pouring down in sheets, but when he stared hard enough he could see the stars, looking dim.  
  
Suddenly he heard someone singing a familiar song. It was a song he once sang with Rose. "But who's singing it?" Jack pondered to himself. He listened more closely, and he realised that it was coming from right beside him. The voice was getting shakier with each line.  
  
"It's the woman," Jack thought to himself. "It's the woman singing our song," he thought more. "All on goodbye. I love you Jack and I miss you" Rose cried, she had finished the song and was crying silently.  
  
That was the last straw for Jack, he leapt out of the bed and pulled back the curtain. He saw red headed woman crying into her pillow.  
  
"Rose?" Jack whispered. He was shaking from nervousness, excitement, and fear. The fear that it might not be Rose. That it may be his imagination. 


	4. Together Again

An Unbearable Loss - Chapter 4  
  
Together Again  
  
Authors Notes: Sorry this chapter came so late, I've just been very busy recently with college courses and also learning to drive, this story sort of took a back burner to everything else. There's just one chapter left that I have written, I have lost nearly all my interest in Titanic that I had so its becoming harder to be enthusiastic in continuing this story. As I said there is a chapter 5 but after that, well don't hold your breath. Also a huge thank you to my 3 or 4 reviews that I had, I know my story would probably be better on a hard disk and burned somewhere but its nice that you people wrote and said you liked it anyway. So thanks again!  
  
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"Rose?" he said again, his voice more constricted as tears were falling rapidly down his face. She heard her name being called, how did this person know her ?  
  
"Who is it," she thought to herself. Rose turned her head in the direction of the voice and saw a face she thought she would never see again. Jack.  
  
"Jack?" she whispered with disbelief.  
  
"Rose!" Jack shouted and embraced her so hard that all the air was pushed out of her lungs. "Oh God Jack! Jack! Oh my god, I thought you were dead, I thought I lost you" Rose cried to him, tears pouring out of her eyes. Jack pulled away and held her face in his hands and looked at her adoringly.  
  
"My God Rose, I thought I lost you too. I didn't see your name on the list" he said to her through his tears of joy. "That's because I changed my name, its Dawson now Jack, Rose Dawson" she sobbed happily. He was amazed and ecstatic. "Dawson? You took my name?" Jack smiled and pulled her into his arms once again and kissed her on the lips. "I love you Rose, I love you so much" he said after he kissed her and looked in her eyes. "I love you to Jack, more than anything in the world" Rose cried and hugged him again.  
  
Mary walked along the passageway towards the Infirmary. There wasn't much help needed on deck, just a few more blankets and cups of tea to hand out. When she reached the opening she heard some ruckus coming from inside. She peered in and saw Jack hugging and kissing the woman who came in earlier. Mary gasped!  
  
"And what exactly is going on in here?" she enquired, staring intently at Jack. Jack and Rose were surprised at the intrusion and looked at Mary.  
  
"Mary, this is Rose, I told you about her earlier", he said while looking at Rose. "But you said she was dead!" Mary stuttered out. "I thought she was too, but she's not. I couldn't find her because she took my name" Jack said and kissed her forehead.  
  
"Well, that's cleared a few things up for me", she walked over to Rose's bed. "I'm Mary O'Neil, the nurse" she said while shaking Rose's hand. "Rose, its nice to meet you Mary" she answered, and smiled. "Are you feeling okay? A steward brought you in here unconscious, apparently you fainted on deck, can you remember anything?" Mary asked, she sat on the other side of the bed.  
  
"Not much I'm afraid I was just standing on the deck and then the next thing I knew I woke up in here" Rose said her hand firmly clasped in Jack's. "Well I came back to tell you Jack that we are going to dock in half an hour, and to see if you have woken up" Mary remembered, and looked at both of them. "I'll go back on deck so you two can get dressed and prepare to disembark" she said and left them alone again. "You ready to go Rose Dawson?" Jack smiled at Rose. "More than ever Jack, more than ever" she whispered back and kissed him. 


	5. A Note from Author

A Note from Author  
  
Hi everybody, thank you so much for the reviews of my story. To be honest I never expected one single review, and if I did get one I was sure it was going to say "Die you bad writer, die!" or something along those lines. Some of you have asked when will chapter 5 be up, well I hope soon, very soon actually. I have to run through it with a fine toothcomb, make sure it is readable etc. But hopefully it should be out within the week! And once again thank you for you reviews, they really brought a smile to my face. And that is a rarity! ( 


	6. 5 Making Plans

An Unbearable Loss - Chapter 5  
  
Making Plans  
  
The Carpathia docked in New York harbour. All remaining survivors disembarked the steamer, including Jack and Rose.  
  
They wondered through the hoards of photographers and news reporters. After they were free from the crowd Jack and Rose walked down the cobbled street hand in hand, not knowing what to say to each other. Then Rose broke the silence.  
  
"Jack, what are we going to do now? I have no money, you have no money and we really need somewhere to sleep tonight."  
  
"I know Rose, I was just thinking the same thing, I'm not sure what we can do" he said sadly. He wanted so badly to take care of Rose, to provide her with at least somewhere to stay for a little while. But all of his belongings went down with the ship.  
  
They kept walking, unable but to overhear the whispered discussions of Titanic. Nearly everyone on the street was commenting on it. This only made Rose more upset; Jack wasn't feeling to well either.  
  
"I really need to sit down now Jack, I'm so tired and cold" Rose whispered shakily, stopping Jack and nodding towards a nearby bench.  
  
"Okay, we'll sit down for a little while" he assured her, and put his arm around Rose's shoulder leading her to the bench.  
  
"Is that better?" Jack asked Rose when they sat down.  
  
"Much" she said "but I'm still cold."  
  
Jack put his arms around Rose and hugged her. Neither of them noticed the drunk sitting on the other end of the bench. He guzzled back another gulp of his whiskey.  
  
"You two look like you just came of that shipwreck Titanic" he said, startling them both. They turned their heads to his direction, and smiled sadly.  
  
"We did," they said in unison.  
  
"That was a terrible shame what happened. You know, I have the address...(he paused and took another drink) of a shelter that takes homeless people. Stayed there myself for ooh 3 months, before they kicked me out. Drinking you see they don't go for that. You both look like a couple of nice kids, they would accept you in a flash" he said and handed them a piece of paper.  
  
Rose looked up at Jack, and questioned with her eyes about taking the address. Jack nodded.  
  
"Thank you, very much. It's very kind of you." she said and took the note from his hand.  
  
Rose read the address, and luckily it wasn't that far away from where they were. So they started towards it. When they reached the shelter, they knocked on the door and were greeted by the largest woman either of them had ever met, including Molly.  
  
"Hello, may I help you? Oh gosh look at you both come in, come in, we must get you warmed up, you look a fright" the plump woman said. She escorted them to a large hall where there were dozens of metal-framed beds, and large numbers of people mingling around them. She pointed to two empty beds situated very near to where they were standing.  
  
"Oh by the way I'm Janice Callen. I run the shelter, and you are?" she said while making them teas from a nearby trolley.  
  
Janice was a large woman, with a happy disposition. She had blonde straight hair that was tied back into a bun, she had a few front teeth missing but that did not affect her smile. "Jack...Jack Dawson and this is Rose" he paused "Dawson". He reached for both cups of tea Janice had offered and handed one of them to Rose.  
  
"Oh how lovely, I remember when I was your age, newly married and everything was wonderful, the sun seemed brighter, the flowers smelled better. That was until one day I found my no good lying scoundrel of that husband of mine in bed with another woman " Janice finished angrily.  
  
Then realising what she had said gave them both a huge smile "Oh I'm sure that wont happen to the two of you" and sat on a small chair next to the beds. It was rather an amusing sight seeing this huge woman fit in a small chair. But she managed it in the end.  
  
"JANICE! JANICE, WE NEED YOU URGENTLY!" a loud voice cried from the far end of the hall. She stood up abruptly and took the chair with her, but managed to pull it off after a few moments of huffing and puffing with exertion, and followed the voice to the other side of the hall.  
  
Jack and Rose waited until she was to far away to be heard before they burst into fits of giggles and loud laughter.  
  
"That has to be one of the funniest sights I have ever seen in my life" Rose cried through her laughter. "Yeah!" Jack said and laughed some more with Rose. 


End file.
